And the Geek Parade Never Sleep

Well, it finally happened, a full rainless week in Springfield. Something I had been waiting for all year, in order to open the doors to Pe-Pa's shed full of electrostuff and release it's content to the public unawares. Even though a week wasn't nearly long enough, I had managed to pull enough out for a nice 30 x 40 foot spread of Digital Multimeters, Oscilloscopes, and so many other devices and parts I did not recognise. Intuition was telling me none of this will sell without a clever newspaper add to draw in the eccentric type of people who may be interested in this strange paraphanalia. So this was done, and I went to bed full of anxiety, fearing the multitudes of people looking for baby clothes and pottery that may show up tomorrow and walk away in shear disgust of my unusual layout.

6:15, it was barely light outside, as I exit the back door to go place my signage in preplanned stratigic locations, I notice shadows moving though the isles of the electrostuff. ZOMG! They're already here! The Sun has yet to cross the horizon, no breakfast, no signs up, the front yard is empty, how did these strangers know where the treasure was hidden? This is bad...

"Got no baby clothes?" a female voice yelps from the misty light. Tension subsides, a false alarm. "Not here maam" I say as I roll out my 5 foot circular SALE sign towards the front yard. Seemingly upset, they walk away to their 76 Oldsmobile to continue on their unworhty quest. Just enough time to eat a couple of peanut butter and crackers, I here another female voice from the electro-garden "Anybody here?" Oh great, another one, maybe pottery? I think to myself as I swallow my last cracker almost whole and run to the back door. To my amazement I see what appears to be Agent Scully standing in the Oscilloscope section. She's talking on her cell phone, describing what she see's in great detail to some unknown agent in a distant location. Fox Moulder, perhaps? "You need to get here ASAP" she says as she closes up and holsters her phone. She sees me and quickly states "I'm going to start a pile, O.K."

The light had increased somewhat, Agent Skully seemed too busy for chit-chat, and the first man appeares at the entrance. He gets a good glance of the layout and his face is awashed in pure ecstacy. He says "Hi" and quickly starts his own pile, then another. Agent Skully quikens, and catches up with the man, starting on her third pile. The race was on! I felt bewildered as I watched this "pile" phenomona unfold. For it had been totally unknown to me until now. A few more men walk in, one of which approches a pile belonging to Skully and he picks up an old Bakelite radio off the top, big mistake! She races toward the man with no yard sale ediquit, quickly grabs the radio from his hands and says in a rather fierce voice "That's MY pile, stay away from it, PLEASE." More people were arriving by the minute, and piles were starting everywhere. I needed a "Pile solution" and fast! Critical mass was eminant! Eject the warp core! No! Delay that order! I have an idea, just carry the 2.

As I was placing SOLD signs made from old cardbaord on all the piles, I mentioned to Skully and the first man that this was only half of it, the rest is still in that shed back there. I think they must have their own transporter technology, because they just appeared in the shed in the blink of an eye. They began opening boxes and moving things around while I guarded their piles and gave explainations to some curious patrons as to how all this electrostuff came to be. After an hour Agent Skully seemed to loose steam. She came up to me and wanted to settle-up. As we were doing so a man with long blonde hair, big black geek glasses, torn jeans, and a Jim Morrison tye-dye t-shirt appeared at the entrance. Following right behind him was a man with reddish brown hair and mustache, well dressed in decades old clothes. I was just waiting for the short, round, bald one to soon follow, but no such luck. He must have called in sick. I tapped Skully on the shoulder and pointed them out to her. Without words, she knew, and in disbelief, she whispered "OMG, it's the Lone Gunmen from the X-Files" . . . This must be geek heaven!

After scanning the area, the blonde Gunman approched me, he seemed to be in a manic state of mind, then he told me "I'm having a yard sale down the street, someone called me and said I needed to see this sale because it was like nothing he had ever seen before. This is awesome!" He walked away, his head moving around like a paranoid bird on caffine. I saw the first man close up the shed and lock it with his own lock, he then offered me a good sum of moneys for all the electronics in the shed, then we settled up on his other six piles. . . Yes, this is awesome!

Some three pickup loads later the first man said he was done with the shed. The mega geeks can now have access to it's mysterious contents. Four of them were to stay all day long, going through the leftovers with a fine toothed heatsink. One had found an old PS2. He then explained how he could put two something? something? blah~ blah~ blah~ networking cards in it and make an instant hacking device. Another was telling us about his $80,000 comic book collection that got burned in his hometown of Germany. There were so many amazing stories to be heard it was hard to absorb it all in just one day. So the next day . . . it is free day! The same four geeks were rumaging through the same boxes they had gone through the day before. And yes! More fantastic stories were being told!

All of a sudden, out of the blue, a very strange and angry creature started yelling at one of the geeks, using nasty language and waving it's tenticles in the air. Then it managed to drag him away from his precious treasures, and into the driveway, maybe, never to be seen or heard from again! This hiddious creature, as I found out, is known as "Wife" So I beg of you all! Beware of this mad thing, it can be very, very dangerous!!! Especially to geeks! About an hour later that same geek walks into the sale area, he had escaped from his dreadful fate, seemingly unharmed, but deeply humiliated, and his head hung low. It was an awfull sight to behold.

Three of the clock, almost everything is gone, and everyone. Just a small frail old man searching for bits and pieces of semiprecious metals. He had been hiding amongst the geeks all day like an invisible ninja, gathering semiprecious scraps which fell from the geeks bounty. As I help the old man carry the last of Pe-Pa's legacy to the back of his van, I notice all sorts of gadgets inside. A fan with an ice cube tray sitting in front of it caught my attention. I was curious, so I asked him the purpose of this unusual device. He said "I put ice in the tray and the fan blows on the ice and it keeps my dog cool while I'm away from the van to go shopping or something." Ingenious and practicle at the same time, I thought to myself. And it suddenly occured to me that "Ingenious and practicle at the same time" was the true legacy of Pe-Pa. He just didn't get the chance to use all the stuff I just got rid of. This old man was proof that it can happen, if given the time. I just hoped this old man didn't have rooms and outbuildings full of plans, plans and more plans.